The 30 Day Challenge: Day 2!

Day 2: Where you'd like to be in 10 years.

My honest answer? I really don't know. I currently am in a bit of a stop gap in my life. Having graduated this time last year, and only had a few temporary jobs since, I still have no idea about career options etc. 

So from the little I do know, I can tell you I'd like to: 

• have moved out again (I lived with friends at Uni for 3 years, but have since had to return home) the novelty of living at home is more than starting to wear thin after a year...

• preferably have moved to a city again (maybe my Uni city, maybe another)...I much prefer bigger places, more going on etc.

• hopefully still as close with my friends as I am now. I've no doubt that they're friends for life, and as we don't see each other as often any more, it makes our time together even more special and cherished. 

• have seen some of my friends maybe get married/have children etc, I can't wait to watch it all unfold, and within the next 10 years is statistically when the biggest life changes are likely to happen, so hopefully there are some weddings on the cards!

• continue to watch my best friend's daughter grow up into the beautiful, strong willed, hilarious, kind hearted girl she's turning into. 10 years from now, she'll be about to turn 12...I can't wait to see what she's like as she grows, how her personality shapes and the character she becomes.

• finally have passed my driving test and have a little car all of my own! Please. Dear, Lord!

Ella.x

Products I'm excited to try #1

Unintentionally over the last week or so, I seem to have collected a nice little stash of products I've never used before. As I'm looking forward to trying them out, I thought you might like to know what's what!

Simple kind to skin replenishing rich moisturiser - £3.99

My skin is terrible recently. I do not know what's gotten into it, but deary me someone needs to have a stern word! Whichever moisturiser I use, after a while the dry areas on my face come back with a vengeance, and the oily bits well, the less said about them the better! I decided to try this moisturiser on a whim, I was just in boots, picked up one that wasn't overly expensive (am very poor this month!), but hoped would do the job! 

I've since read reviews which are less than favourable about this product, but I'm all up for giving it a go! Watch this space!

Benefit the POREfessional - £24.50

I actually got this as a free sample from Elle magazine. I saw somebody (can't remember who now) raving about it, and thought it was too good an opportunity to pass up. So off I trotted and there it was. I'm very intrigued by this, as people seem to have mixed reviews about it, saying it's the best one they've tried, yet doesn't really work....what?! 

As my pores are a real problem area, I am hoping upon hope that I get on well with this product, and if it's a success I'd be more than happy to pay for a full size one!

Imperial Leather Shower Cream in Alluring -£1.00

I am one for my shower gels! I don't have a favourite as such, and switch and swap quite regularly (depending on what's on offer...told you I was poor!) but I'm very picky about the smells etc. I saw these limited edition bottles in Morrisons (on offer for £1) and set about sniffing them all in great detail. I chose Alluring in the end, which is star anise and blush peony, although I still think I really chose it for the butterfly on the front, rather than the scent. I'm giving it a go though, will be interested to see it's lasting power and lathering potential! 

Ultimate Blends Silky Smoother Shampoo and Conditioner - £3.89 each

I picked these up a while ago, but haven't used them much yet. They're part of a new range by Garnier, and I was very interested in them. I'm very hit and miss with shampoos/conditioners, but chose the one for 'mid to long hair with split ends' as I can definitely tick off all those criteria! They have a wide range including a set for coloured hair, and one for dry, dull hair. After brining them home, I found I wasn't too keen on the scent, which is meant to be vanilla milk and papaya, but I might be surprised once I've used them! Hopefully it will help my hair to feel shinier and silkier! Also, the bottle reminds me of something straight out of the 1960's..anyone else think that or just me?!

And there we have it, rest assured I will be bathing, lathering, showering, spraying, moisturising and makeup-ing (new word, I know), using these products from now on, and will let you know how I get on!

Ella.x

My Style: Primark Haul!

So, anybody that knows me well, will tell you that I could start my own branch of Primark from my wardrobe! I'm not ashamed to say it, but I do live for shopping in Primark...everyone does really, right?!

Although I often walk through the men's section, I rarely have reason to shop in it. However, with my brother's 20th birthday coming up soon (he's the sort of person that only asks for clothes), I thought what better chance to go and have a mooch round the men's! And what a mooch it was!

The first thing I noticed, was how much quieter, and neater it was than the womens downstairs, and I browsed without fear of stepping on clothes, tripping over baskets or people pushing past!

I was really quite impressed with the quality and design of their SS14 menswear collection and picked up my brother a few bits!

First up I chose this shirt. Now, personally I'd never choose this if I got to style and dress my brother,however, he is extremely picky with clothes, and I know this is a fail safe option for him, as he wears shirts similar to this one all the time. 

I do love the colours, and for £6 for something I know he'll wear for sure, you can't really go wrong!

After I chose this, I decided to go a little adventurous, and chose him two t-shirts which I love, but I'm unsure as to whether he'll wear! He loves plain coloured t-shirts especially blue and white, but I can really picture him in these, so I bit the bullet and bought them!

This one was £7, it's grey, with turn up sleeves (something I love) and has what I'd call 'muted flowers' printed on it. It's a subtle pattern, but close up you can see they're there. If you stand from a distance it'd just look like a plain t-shirt...so I hope he'll give it a go! 

I fell in love with this blue t-shirt as soon as I saw it! The base colour is a dark blue, which he loves, and then it's got little flamingos (I think...please correct me if I'm wrong?!) all over it, which I think are SO cute! I carried this round with me for ages, before finally deciding I couldn't leave without it, and it was only £4!

I'm less sure of this one, but if he doesn't like it, it will happily be finding it's way into my wardrobe! 

As a quick little extra, I found this. How cute?!

My friend is due to have a baby boy this Summer, and I find the Primark baby clothes such good value! I don't agree with spending a fortune on baby clothes, as they grow out of them so quickly! 

This little two pack was £3 and I think any baby would look gorgeous in these!

The only thing I will say is there is ALWAYS more choice for baby girls, than baby boys, why is this?!!

I was also really impressed with the range of men's shorts. I found some for my brother in a navy blue, with turn ups with little anchors on. Unfortunately as happens all too frequently in Primark, they didn't have his size. Oh well...just an excuse for another trip soon to to hunt them out!

Let me know, have you been to Primark lately?! What did you buy?

Ella.x 

Friday Feelings: Washing Your Hair Backwards!

So...I've been reading a lot of blogs lately, which talk about washing your hair backwards, me being a very sceptical person, I've been very dubious about this...but I also tend to jump on the bandwagon...so couldn't resist giving it a go!

Here's how I got on! 

After rinsing my hair, I applied conditioner to the tips (which are very dry and horrible due to split ends and dip dye!). It felt slightly odd putting conditioner on my unwashed, greasy hair, but I went with it and tried to ignore it. I've read it's best to leave it for a good 5 minutes, and although this was frustrating, I just about managed it. 

I then thoroughly rinsed the conditioner out, and got my shampoo ready. As I lathered my hair with shampoo, I did notice that I needed considerably less shampoo than normal. I'm not sure if this was related to the backwards washing, or was just a fluke! When I rinsed the shampoo out, I also noticed it came out of my hair more easily, and was less awkward (if that makes sense) to rinse out.

In the interests of a fair experiment, after towel drying and combing through, I didn't put any products (normally I use mousse, oils etc) in my hair. I then left it to dry naturally.

So here we are, the next morning. From first glance, my hair looks the same, natural curls have sprung up all over the place and I look like I've been dragged through a bush backwards.

After styling I can safely say there is no difference. Yes, I'm aware that this technique is best suited to fine hair (whereas mine is curly and thick) so I wasn't exactly expecting my hair to come out looking sleek and shiny. However, shampooing after conditioning is meant to remove any excess conditioner, and the conditioner that soaked in during the 5 minutes is said to leave your ends soft and smooth. Unfortunately, my ends didn't feel any smoother than normal, and were still dry. 

So, the only positive I can find, is it used less shampoo than normal, meaning replacing the bottle less often, meaning a slight rise in the bank balance!

Apart from that...

Did it work? No, not for me.

Would I recommend it? No.

Am I going to try it again? I might give it one more go, but in all honesty, probably not going to be a regular thing.

So, was this post helpful? Probably not.

Confusing? Maybe.

Given a totally different opinion to every other post surrounding washing your hair backwards? I hope so, and some realisation that really, nothing much can change your hair...your hair is yours, appreciate it, don't be that girl who's got curly hair but longs for straight, or has straight but wishes it was curly!

Ella.x

The 30 Day Challenge! Day 1

Thought that this might be a good little series to do! We all know I ramble on a bit, so now I can ramble about specific topics, whilst you all get to know me a little better! 

It will hopefully help me cut down rambling on all my other posts, if I restrict it to these!

I may do it in 30 days, as I doubt I'll be able to keep up with 1 question per day, but slowly, I will get through all the questions! 

Day 1: Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is.

I'm currently single...so what? I think life is defined far too much these days, on people's relationship status. Your in a relationship? I'm glad. You're single? Great. You're in that unknown in-between territory? Good. It doesn't matter...you're still you, you're not defined by what your relationship status is!

So yes, I'm single...but I don't sit and reflect on that fact everyday! No matter what, you should embrace your life (relationship or single) how it is right now, at this very moment. 

I'm happy, I have amazing friends and a good family and I'm living my life how I want to. If the man of my dreams suddenly appears, then great, if not, then it's no loss. I find sometimes people who are in relationships focus solely on them, and everything else is shut out. Similarly, people who are single get so hung up on finding 'the one' that they forget to open their eyes on the beauty of life around them. Obviously, if you're in a relationship your partner is a major part of your life, but never let it overtake you, or be everything, it's just not healthy. 

Admittedly as I get older (23 in a few weeks, eeeek!) and more of my friends have children, move in with significant others and get married, I do start to wonder what I'm doing wrong and if it will ever happen. Really though, I know I'm not doing anything wrong, it just isn't time in my life yet! Your life is mapped out for a reason, embrace it!

What do you think about relationships? 

Ella.x 

"His opinion does not define you"

The other day, I was mindlessly wasting my evening scrolling through Tumblr, when I came across a post, from Louise (Sprinkle of Glitter....if you don't know who she is, stop reading this and go discover her this instant!)...the post was this...

As soon as I saw this, it instantly gave me the words to sum up everything I'd been feeling for over a year, but had never been able to express.

You see, around 6 years ago, I became best friends with someone, and I couldn't have been happier. I was going through a hard time, and without him and another friend I'd recently made, I don't know what I'd have done. It was amazing, we were inseparable.

I was always a weak person, and clung on to both of them as tight as possible, I needed them. We did everything together, went through finding our feet after Alevels, wondering about our futures, applying and then dropping out of Uni..and we all supported each other through personal hard times.

However somewhere in all of this, without me even knowing, I began to become very manipulated and controlled.

He didn't like people who wore leggings...so when we hung out, I wouldn't wear leggings...

If he wanted to meet on Tuesday at 12pm, that's where we would meet...regardless of if I had other plans, could get there or wanted to go...

If we were going somewhere, I'd have to look up train times...

If he was hungry, I'd go and get him food...

If he didn't like a song, we didn't listen to it...

We did things his way.

What was going on? To put it simply, I was being sucked in by his opinions, his values and ultimately, I was under his power. Sometimes I didn't like what he said, or how things worked, but I never realised how bad things were, and even if I had done, I needed him, and was too weak to do anything about it...

Around 3 years ago, I moved away to Uni...to say I was terrified was an understatement. I didn't make friends, came home to visit every weekend and was on the phone to him crying all the time. 

Around a year and a half in, things changed. I found myself with a group of 6 friends, who I love more than life itself, and would be lost without. Slowly but surely, they brought me out of my shell, they loved me for me, encouraged me to be me...and I am a totally different person to the shy girl who started Uni 4 years ago. I was experiencing so much, things he'd never approved, so I'd never done before. To this day, I can't believe the transformation.

However, they also made me see what was going on at home...despite me proclaiming they were wrong, or it was all fine...I began to see that they were right. I wondered how I'd never seen something, that was now so blatantly obvious. I also felt embarrassed, as they could see it so easily, that meant everyone around me could see it too. I felt like a mug.

I've changed beyond belief, and although half of that was due to moving away, learning to live independently, starting a degree, making new friends etc, I also know that some of these changes would have occurred at home, if I hadn't been under his spell so much. 


Eventually, I decided enough was enough, things with him were getting worse, he began to tell me I'd changed, take the mickey out of what I was wearing, the things I did on the weekend and the person I was. 

My friends said he was jealous...jealous I'd move out, moved on, jealous of them and my new life. To this day I'm not sure... but what I do know, is that it actually has no relevance, because whatever the reason, his behaviour was not acceptable.

My extremely long fuse, had just blown. Words were said, arguments were had. I cried, he cried. Meetings were arranged to try and talk things through. 

Throughout this, my opinions and feelings were disregarded and manipulated as normal...but this time was different...I stayed strong. 

We said we'd give it time, less contact, more contact...but deep in my heart of hearts, I knew that was it.

It's now been a year and a half since I last saw him, and throughout that time I've felt guilty, needy, been drawn back into the friendship. More than once I've text him, we've spoken, we even arranged to meet...but I cancelled.

Why did I feel guilty?

•  Because as I said at the beginning, he picked me up from a very bad time in my life, and I'd have been lost without him.
• We had the best time together and the funny memories are not just ignorable
• 6 years is a long time and I felt I couldn't just leave it all behind

I could write a million reasons, but ultimately it comes down to this...regardless of how many positives there are...if you are letting his opinion define you...get out.

To this day, I still check his facebook, I still watch videos I have of us, I still miss his good qualities, the way we'd find the smallest things funny, the way we'd find joy in doing nothing, the way he protected me...but I find this has become less and less frequent, and I now feel more than anything, a sense of relief.

I won't lie and say it's not been hard, each time I missed him, or contacted him...I'd go through every emotion under the sun. But really, each time, I knew it was wrong, and felt stronger afterwards.

I also feel a sense of relief after writing this, letting it out, and although I'm extremely nervous about publishing this post...if I help one person realise the message...then it's been worth it.

Just to clarify, we we're only best friends, never anything more.. it doesn't matter the relationship (friendship, boyfriend, girlfriend, family member)...the message is still the same.

I still feel sad writing this, almost that I'm bad mouthing him,and what he'd say if he ever saw this...which proves I'm still under his control, just the tiniest bit, and to be honest, I'm not sure how long it will take to ever get over it completely...but don't beat yourself up about it, take your time, you'll come out stronger, you're the better person...I now feel 100 metres higher than he'll ever be.

Remember, nobody can be you, as well as you can. 

Ella.x

The Disney Tag!

Guess who's back?! After a little break, I'm back again (don't all be excited at once!)...and what better way to start back than by doing the Disney Tag!

 What is your Fave Disney film?

Snow White! This is the only film I was really interested in when I was little...apparently I would sit at the foot of the TV watching it, and recite it word for word, songs and all...day after day after day! I'm not sure why this one drew me in more than the rest, but there we go! So to this day it will always have a special place in my heart! 

Fave Disney Character?

I really love the Lion King characters...Zazu, Rafiki and Ed! 

 Fave Disney Princess?

Oh this is a hard one, I think Cinderella is my favourite Princess.

Rather be Aurora or Cinderella?

Aurora...only because I'm so lazy, I'm always sleeping!

 Rather be Hercules or Tarzan?

Hercules!

 Rather be Lizzie McGuire or Raven Baxter?

Er Lizzie McGuire...no contest!!! At nearly 23 years old I never still sit and watch the Lizzie McGuire movie...nope...never...

 Fave Disney Song?

Well, it depends what mood I'm in but I am CONSTANTLY singing songs from the Lion King and Frozen...so any from those two movies!

Which Disney character would be your best friend?

Mulan I think, she has lots of qualities I like in friends and I think she'd protect me :)

 Which Disney character would be your pet?

The chubby little mouse from Cinderella...Gus!

 Have you ever been to Disneyland?

Never but one day I will!